Where Dreams Come True... / Charlotte Hamilton

Do you wish you could take your family to Disney World, but hate the idea of spending your life savings in one week? Do you long for theme park excitement, but live days away from the nearest theme park? Now there’s a place you can visit for that Disney experience, only cheaper, and within driving distance.
It’s the airport!
The airport’s got what you’ve been craving.
Long lines? We’ve got ‘em!
A burger that costs $20? You bet!

Plus, we’ve got rides galore.
Carousel rides for your suitcase!
Golf cart rides for your Aunt Gladys!
And of course – airplane rides for everyone!
What could be more fun than strapping yourself into a metal tube that shoots thousands of feet into the air? If you get too comfortable, we’ll throw in some turbulence. And where else can you find a ride so extreme that you get evacuation instructions and your own bag to vomit in?
But what about Princesses and Princes, you ask?
We’ve got something even better – Pilots and Flight Attendants, the royalty of the air! Follow your favorites as they sail across the globe (or back and forth between Denver and Milwaukee). Wait for our most popular flight attendants at the gate to collect their autographs. Buy a shot for your favorite pilot before his next flight!
And that’s not all!
Additional airport attractions include:
A monorail*
Screaming children
You get to take your shoes off
Complimentary body cavity search when you bring your uzi

*Available only at select airports

So come on down to your local airport – where some of your dreams come true.